Is this what answered prayers are? is this how God talks to me? Am I so blind as to not catch on for several hours that this was an answer to the prayer "show me what love means"?
Back in Little Rock, a slight rain was falling. I walked downstairs and, with things on my mind like going to the store for my mom and heading to Louisville, I was hit with a little bit of a lot of terror. As long as any piece of me is holding back in hopes of fulfilling my own desires, I am not loving. Why am I home for these few days but to serve? Why hesitate when asked to go to the store, take my sister to school...? How can we who died to sin still live in it? (Rom. 6:2) What agony!
I then read this quote on one of my team member's pages:
"Give until it hurts, because real love hurts"- Mother Teresa
I thought it was false by a long shot. Why would real love hurt?
I think it hurts because we still sin. We still struggle. I think it hurts because each day, though the Lord's mercies are new (Praise be to Him!), so are the temptations to live self-absorbed lives. And not necessarily overtly self-absorbed lives, but rather, the reserved love kind of life. The "here are three things I want to do this week and now lets see if I have time to go to the store for my mom, my neighbor..."
I kind of think it should be the other way around.
"Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days" (Psalm 90:14)
"I will bless the Lord at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth" (Psalm 34:1)
Real love hurts because it is a sacrifice. The sad thing is, the quote does not catch the full picture. Because real love's hurting and sacrifice is in some, inexplicable way linked to joy.
What wondrous love is this, O my soul, O my soul!
What wondrous love is this, O my soul!
What wondrous love is this
That caused the Lord of bliss
To bear the dreadful curse for my soul, for my soul,
To bear the dreadful curse for my soul!
When I was sinking down, sinking down, sinking down,
When I was sinking down, sinking down,
When I was sinking down
Beneath God’s righteous frown,
Christ laid aside His crown for my soul for my soul,
...
To God and to the Lamb I will sing;
To God and to the Lamb,
Who is the great I AM,
While millions join the theme, I will sing, I will sing,
...
And when from death I’m free
I’ll sing His love for me,
And through eternity I’ll sing on, I’ll sing on,
And through eternity I’ll sing on.
Back in Little Rock, a slight rain was falling. I walked downstairs and, with things on my mind like going to the store for my mom and heading to Louisville, I was hit with a little bit of a lot of terror. As long as any piece of me is holding back in hopes of fulfilling my own desires, I am not loving. Why am I home for these few days but to serve? Why hesitate when asked to go to the store, take my sister to school...? How can we who died to sin still live in it? (Rom. 6:2) What agony!
I then read this quote on one of my team member's pages:
"Give until it hurts, because real love hurts"- Mother Teresa
I thought it was false by a long shot. Why would real love hurt?
I think it hurts because we still sin. We still struggle. I think it hurts because each day, though the Lord's mercies are new (Praise be to Him!), so are the temptations to live self-absorbed lives. And not necessarily overtly self-absorbed lives, but rather, the reserved love kind of life. The "here are three things I want to do this week and now lets see if I have time to go to the store for my mom, my neighbor..."
I kind of think it should be the other way around.
"Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days" (Psalm 90:14)
"I will bless the Lord at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth" (Psalm 34:1)
Real love hurts because it is a sacrifice. The sad thing is, the quote does not catch the full picture. Because real love's hurting and sacrifice is in some, inexplicable way linked to joy.
What wondrous love is this, O my soul, O my soul!
What wondrous love is this, O my soul!
What wondrous love is this
That caused the Lord of bliss
To bear the dreadful curse for my soul, for my soul,
To bear the dreadful curse for my soul!
When I was sinking down, sinking down, sinking down,
When I was sinking down, sinking down,
When I was sinking down
Beneath God’s righteous frown,
Christ laid aside His crown for my soul for my soul,
...
To God and to the Lamb I will sing;
To God and to the Lamb,
Who is the great I AM,
While millions join the theme, I will sing, I will sing,
...
And when from death I’m free
I’ll sing His love for me,
And through eternity I’ll sing on, I’ll sing on,
And through eternity I’ll sing on.
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